📣 OnlyFacts™

🔥Exclusive Access to Emotional Truth🔥

“Subscribe to OnlyFacts™ – Where oversharing becomes the source.”

💎 Choose Your Spiral Plan:

🥉 Trauma Tier™ – £3/month
Features:
Daily text affirmations like “Maybe you are the victim.”
Access to archived subtweets from your ex’s cousin
Monthly reminder that therapy is for people who admit they were wrong
🧠 Perfect for casual gaslighters and first-time accountability dodgers.

🥈 Main Character Premium – £9/month
Features:
Unlimited access to curated quote graphics that contradict themselves
Weekly TikTok horoscopes made up on the spot
One (1) shadow work excuse per week to avoid taking responsibility
15% off spiritual merch that doesn’t work
🎭 Great for emotionally intelligent manipulators and astrology beef influencers.

🥇 Spiral Supreme Ultra Deluxe – £29/month
Features:
Real-time validations from AI therapists named “MoonDaddy369”
“I’m healing” hoodies and boundary-setting candles
Front-row access to our “Toxic But Trendy” livestream
VIP portal to re-read old convos and find new ways to be offended
Unlimited reposts of your own vague tweets
🔥 For the fully awakened messes who know they’re always right, even when wrong.

💬 Testimonial from Our Top Creator: Vibe Whisperer
“OnlyFacts™ helped me monetise my coping mechanisms. Before this, I was just emotionally unavailable. Now I’m emotionally iconic.”
— The Vibe Whisperer, Shadow Work Dropout & Full-Time Soft Launch Specialist

🔗 Subscribe Now
👉 Don’t fix your life. Just curate your reality.
🛒 [Start Spiral Today] (Button block)
🖤 Because at OnlyFacts™, the truth is… a suggestion.